Boris and the Scarlett Sisterhood

0ebe58fe-e867-11e4-_892742cBy Mike Small

‘Boris and the Scarlett Sisterhood’ may sound like a late 80s goth-band from Walthamstow but it’s just a fragment of the now gushing diatribe of weirdness sweeping the media coverage of the election.

Trevor Kavanagh at the super soaraway Sun is less than pleased by the presence of Leanne Wood (‘socialist’), Nicola Sturgeon (‘doe-eyed’), Natalie Bennett (‘gurning’):

“In less than three weeks, if you believe the polls, this oddball coalition of Trots, socialists, anarchists and, until recently, obscure nationalists could be running Britain” he boomed incoherently (see ‘Sexism and red-baiting as the Sun warns of a ‘scarlet sisterhood’ of women leaders’.)

I don’t know who is supposed to be the closet anarchist amongst them but I don’t really think being First Minister qualifies as hiding in obscurity. Does it?

As the Anglo-British right now goes into some kind of catatonic state of anger, it’s like a competition to see who can be more mental. Trevor was doing well but clearly was out-weirded by Boris Johnson:

“You wouldn’t get Herod to run a baby farm, would you?,’ he wrote in the Daily Telegraph. ‘It would not normally occur to you to interview a convicted jewel thief for the post of custodian of the Tower of London. You would not dream of asking a fox to look after the henhouse or a temperance campaigner to run a brewery or Attila the Hun to work as a doorkeeper for the Roman senate. Any such course of action would be totally nuts. So can someone tell me why in the name of all that is holy there are some apparently rational people who are even contemplating the elevation of the Scottish Nationalist Party to a position of effective dominance in the government of the United Kingdom – an entity that they are sworn to destroy?”

And still they come. Not to be undone, the Tories wheel-out Norman Tebbit and Malcolm Rifkind, who, given his recent exposure in the cash for access scandal  might have had the decency, or nous, to keep his marble-filled gob shut. Not a bit of it. In he stomped arguing that the SNP posed such an ‘existential threat’ that unusual tactics should be considered in next month’s general election.

Rifkind told LBC Radio that he would have to “think very hard” if he was still a Scottish voter about whether to support Labour or the Liberal Democrats at this election if it would keep out the SNP.

“Is there an alternative approach in the unique circumstances that’s going to be faced on May 7, is there an argument to try and stop the nationalists?” he said.

Giving a broad hint that he would abandon the Tories in Scotland if necessary, he said: “Whether I would do the same in those circumstances, I can’t say. One would have to think very hard in those circumstances.”

Think man! Think! Goddammit.

The trouble with such ruminations from lofty venal patricians like Rifkind is the world is going by as their grey-matter churns. Just as we thought he might be the well-connected mastermind to some co-ordinated strategy, up popped Norman Tebbitt (yes he’s still with us!) on Newsnight to rubbish such an approach telling the BBC that it was “pointless to irritate Scots just by shouting at them from Westminster”. Bit late Norman.

He told BBC2’s Newsnight that it appeared to imply that Conservatives in Scotland “should vote tactically for Labour as the lesser of two evils”.

Indeed. It does.

As the competition for election weirdness intensifies we have two further contenders. We won’t dwell too long on Chris Deerin’s idea that the use of a large font at the manifesto launch makes the SNP fascists.  It’s his latest blethers in ‘Cap X’ – which is a wee blog that’s the far-right trying hard to be hip. He writes: “This aesthetic gigantism unavoidably gives pause for thought – there is something retro about it, suggesting the less edifying movements of 20th century Europe, with their palaces, monuments and arches. Might, scale, power – the language of nationalism.”

I don’t think we’ll ‘pause for thought’ too long Chris.

Perhaps more intriguing is the Wikileaks / Outlander / Indyref connection, a story that we assumed to be fiction till today.

Leaked emails show that David Cameron had met with Sony chiefs to delay the release of Outlander during the referendum lest we’d break out into a full-scale Tartan clad riot of pure separatism.

The email states: “From a SPE [Sony Pictures Entertainment] perspective, your meeting with Prime Minister Cameron on Monday will likely focus on our overall investment in the U.K. – with special emphasis on…the importance of OUTLANDER (i.e. particularly vis-à-vis the political issues in the U.K. as Scotland contemplates detachment this Fall).”

Detachment?

It’s such a sorry story, not least because it shows the fragility of the Cameron case. If the union is so good surely it can withstand a bout of Mills and Boon Highland romance? Apparently not.

Meanwhile, the Tories (blue variety) are intent on a sort of kamikaze-scorched earth campaign tactic by trying to terrify the English electorate about the prospect of the uber-reasonable Nicola exerting influence. Ian Bell in the Herald points out the obvious drawbacks to such an approach:

Michael Forsyth, Baron Forsyth of Drumlean, is more perceptive than his old boss. As he argues, talking up the SNP just to hurt Labour is one thing, and bad enough. It does Unionism generally no favours. But giving Scottish voters the idea that their participation in UK politics is conditional, that their choices can be ruled illegitimate if English nationalism is roused, will be lethal to the Union. Mr Cameron and those running his campaign don’t seem to mind. For some of us, that only confirms an opinion; for others, it will come as an education. This is where we stand in the Westminster scheme of things. So who wouldn’t want to see an end to an old confidence trick?

And so, in this mad election it turns it that Michael Forsyth is the sane one. That might be the craziest thing we’ve heard of.



Categories: Commentary

27 replies

  1. If I slide a fiver down Rifkind’s panties, will he say the SNP are great? Or maybe he charges more to perform for his clients? Anyone know the going rate?

    • I think he would require a peerage Iain. The fiver wont be enough as he is chasing £300 a day plus any other company directorships he can get. He will have a lot of competition fro both though after May8th.

  2. Good grief, he lobbied SONY over OUTLANDER?

    Oh Jeez the establishment really were dotting every ‘i’ and crossing every ‘t’.

    Now where did I leave my claymore? 😀

  3. Malkie trying to trouser wonga from the Chinese ladies caught on film was absolutely hilarious.

    Malkie has no shame whatsoever, he wasn’t prepared to get out of his scratcher for less than five large. Allow him! He then had the front to say he had been wronged – unbelievable! Then he was banned from standing in this election – justice!

    Joking aside, it revealed rifkin has no morals or scruples when it comes to him and dodgey deals for large sums, yet he would vote to enforce draconian measures for those unfortuneate enough to require state assistance merely to survive day to day.

    Basically a dishonest hypocrite!

  4. “Scotch on the Rocks”it seems the Wasteminster boys are replaying the old pathetic story “Any one for a game of 70s Tory panic”ala Douglas Hurd,Christ,you could not make this shit up!

  5. The queen must purr again! I’ve pitched my tent outside Crathie kirk in readiness.

  6. Boris – the man who gives a new meaning to the phrase ‘a man on a wire’, insults an entire city (Liverpool), arrives late for a meeting he is supposed to be chairing, then berates the entire cmmittee he has kep waiting in terms worthy of a school mag, but not the supposed leader of a city of 7 million; and generally does a brilliant job as a not-very-efficient clown – dares to criticise others as incapable? God knows how he got to be Mayor of London: the electorate must have suffered some mass delusion. The considerable (excessive?) success the City and the city have had is mostly in spite, rather than because, of him.

  7. F……………………….ck that sword of mine is getting sharper by the minute!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  8. The fact that the Tories are urging their supporters in Scotland to vote for British Labour confirms that there is little difference in policy terms between any of the Westminster parties and you can pretty well toss a coin to decide which one to cast your vote for because the outcome will be the same.
    If English politicians and their press pack cannot accept Scots electing MPs who don’t fit in with their ideas then they can either suck it up or decide to have a parliament which excludes these foreigners.
    England’s parliament indeed.

  9. I just feel sorry for all those poor Scottish Conservative Party candidates who have staked their deposits, and now have them undermined by colleagues down south. I mean, what’s the point of standing? Why don’t most of the Scottish Conservative (and Lib Dem?) just do the noble thing, stand down from the election, and campaign henceforth for Scottish Labour?

  10. Maybe it’s Fifkinds way of saying pay me a shit load of money and i’ll tell you who to vote for.

  11. We are now seeing the long arm of the establishment and its long reach into the media.

  12. The global history of ‘ nasty activities in right wing panic mode’ is not a pretty picture. Just watch out for outrageous activity 3or 4 days prior to election. Intimidation of older voters, threats from big business, banks and employers might be the soft tactics.

    • Are we not becoming innoculated to that kind of behaviour?

      I suspect that some of those that bought it last year will, by now, realize what a con it always was. And will be scunnered to have been taken for fools.

      Off topic. My son and I both cast postal votes today and cheered them into the post box. So, if Glasgow declares a zero for postal votes for the SNP I will know it is a lie. There are at least two!

  13. Levity is fine, but you know what! who or what do these excuses for human beings think we are?.

  14. Quintessential British democracy at it,s very best,I haven,t heard anyone be they in the meejah or from the other pro-union camp question their demonization of Scotland/Scots says a lot about what type of characters they are,no respect/pride/confidence,it beggars belief that afer all they have said and done there are still large numbers prepared to support them,they do not want them other than to use them as fodder ere it ever was.

  15. Good job we had a practice run last year of our democratic rights and beliefs being derided and undermined, eh? If we hadn’t had that practice run, we might have got upset by this crap, eh? We might have laboured under some misapprehension that our democratic beliefs would be respected, eh?

    To me, what is fascinating, is that it’s pretty obvious that none of these interventionist have followed what’s been happening up in North Britain, when they are so aghast that the jocks don’t know their place.

    The whole sad parade is verging on parody, especially if you had witnessed Digby Jones saying people will leave the country, if SNP get near power. I wonder if the unionists in Scotland are feeling the love? Is this what they voted for??????

  16. It looks like they might just kick us upstart jocks out of Westminster for good.

    Never mind – the day is near,
    When independence will be here!

  17. Hopefully, there will be plenty of posters etc beforehand, to mitigate the inevitable ‘fear tactics’ on the elderly in the final few days.
    These WM politicians will use every dirty trick in the book, so let’s spike their guns!!

  18. Yes, but problem (according to the latest polls) is this new project fear offensive appears to be working to a degree.

  19. Scotland’s sacrifice has always been for England’s glory……up until now?

  20. Malcolm Rifkind, note the arrogance, the sense of self entitlement, the smart ass cheek to the journalists, it borders on the supernatural, plus Rifkind looks like Inspector Gadget.

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